One day...

With children, life is in a constant state of evolution.  You begin from the moment you find out there will be a baby to plan how life will be like.  You talk about parenting styles, names, discipline, work schedules, childcare, sleep and nap schedules.  You read books, pick out furniture, paint rooms, redo the rooms.  You buy clothes, toys, diapers.  By the time you hold that little baby in your arms you have it all planned out, right?  WRONG!  That baby is going to take everything you think you know and throw it all out the window.  That tiny little bundle of joy is going to turn your world upside down!

First off, they didn't read the books you did, so those books are mostly useless.  They don't care what they wear, for the first 3 months or so clothes are only a nuisance to be pooped on or spit up on.  They won't play with toys, and the ones you think are fun will scare the crap out of them at first.  Take for example the Tickle Me Elmo doll.  My son loves Halloween costumes but that doll still scares the hell out of him.  He thinks Elmo is getting sick when he falls over and shakes with laughter.  

That bundle of joy will want to eat all the time, so trying to schedule that will go out the window.  If you planned to work from home, alone with the baby, you can forget it.  So you adapt.  You hire someone to help you out while you get some work done.  Then you find yourself spending the time the nanny is there to take a shower, vacuum your floor, maybe even take a nap. (Since even though you bought a nice, expensive crib it holds toys and laundry, while the baby sleeps with you.)

You finally get it figured out.  You've watched that nanny in action and you can do this, right?  You have the week planned out.  Activities planned, snacks and lunches, naptime to get things done, etc.  Toddler wakes up, doesn't want to get dressed, could care less about your "activities", and won't eat anything you serve.  Except the cookies.  Sigh.

You find that as a parent you need to evolve, adapt.  Marvel at the little one you created and how smart they are.  Then you try to figure out how to outsmart them.  How to trick them into eating the healthy stuff.  You figure out ways to make them think that going to bed on time was their idea, not yours.  You learn to get them excited about getting dressed in the morning, but of course, if they are girls this one does come back to bite you.

One day, I'll have it all figured out...but probably not anytime soon.