Normal or Nazi?

I wanted to talk for a moment about breastfeeding.  I am very pro-breastfeeding and I am all for the rights of  breastfeeding women and the normalization of breastfeeding.  Do I think its okay for a woman to breastfeed in public?  Yes.  Do I think that photos of breastfeeding mothers/children help to promote breastfeeding and make it more acceptable in today's society?  Of course I do.  Do I think EVERY breastfeeding photo needs to be displayed publicly?  Not really.

I am part of several groups that promote breastfeeding and the normalization of breastfeeding.  While I agree with them on most counts, I disagree with their fights to have any and all breastfeeding photos posted on social media sites such as facebook.  I am aware that facebook has a policy that allows for photos of breastfeeding to be posted, as long as excessive nipple isn't showing.  They claim to take the stand that breastfeeding is normal and natural, but that excessive breast is lewd.  I have to agree, for more reasons than one.

First of all, if the photo is on your page, and only your friends can see it, then you are at least being somewhat modest.  I know that nothing posted online is completely private, but unless someone goes looking for it they shouldn't easily come across it.  Again, the photos I am referring to are the ones where a baby may be latched onto one breast, but the other is showing as well.  Let's face it, breastfeeding is natural, breasts are natural and are made for feeding babies.  But a penis is also natural, and is made for urination and making babies, but my teenage daughter doesn't need to come across one randomly in a social media site such as facebook.

Also, if the point of many of these lactivist sites is to normalize breastfeeding, then how is showing a bare breast supposed to do that?  If we want people to accept breastfeeding in public, showing off breast is probably not the best way.  This is exactly what people are afraid of, that we will be exposing ourselves in front of their families.  In truth, most people breastfeeding in public are very discreet.  So how is showing excessive breast helping to normalize breastfeeding?  There is also a picture that pops up quite often among these social media groups that shows a naked woman doing a yoga handstand and breastfeeding a baby.  While I am aware that one aspect of the image is about the strength an beauty of a breastfeeding woman, it is in no way a normal way to breastfeed.  So again, how are photos like this, posted on open groups, helping to promote breastfeeding?

I think the best way to promote breastfeeding and make it more normal and socially acceptable in our society is to lead by example.  Those who can breastfeed, should.  We should offer assistance to those who want to but need help.  We should provide photos as educational materials to help those who are struggling to get breastfeeding established.  Lastly, we should congratulate and support those we see breastfeeding in public and in private.

Let them have fun!

My son started soccer recently.  It was everything I expected, because I knew what to expect.  Two- and three-year-olds don't have a very long attention span, nor do they follow detailed directions well.  I expected that they would kick soccer balls, aim at targets, and run around like miniature whirlwinds for 45 minutes.  For the most part I was right.

For the first 10 minutes Little Man decided to show off his soccer skills and dribble the soccer ball from one end of the indoor field to the other, scoring goals.  Then class started.  They asked the kids to bring a ball and sit in the center in a circle.  So far, so good.  They explained the first game...half the kids began to move around but the parents got the gist of the instructions.  Take ball to coach, tell them your name (the kid's), they throw the ball and the kids fetch.  Repeat with another coach.  We did this with each coach twice.

After a water break, they split the kids up by ages.  We went with the 2's and listened somewhat patiently as they explained we were going to pretend we were animals and kick the ball.  "Act like an elephant, move slowly, kick the ball slowly."  At this point my son was getting a bit confused because he wasn't sure if they were playing animals or soccer.  Her took off to the field to dribble again.  About 4 animals in "pretend you're a T-rex" the coach realized that he was walking around hunched over like a T-rex, with all the parents watching and no kids in sight...

Then they switched games.  Destroying cone towers was a win!  What 2 or 3-year-old doesn't like to kick a ball and knock over a tower?  The it was time for the "party clean up game".  Was this a ploy to get all the balls and cones picked up?  If so, I give them an "E" for effort.  Unfortunately, the kids then found the buckets and got those out.  They also found, I believe a box of jerseys, and other assorted plastic cones and such.  At this point my son was leading a small pack of boys around the outside line in a choo-choo game.  I just let him, taking in the fact that even though he wasn't really learning anything, he was having a blast.

Another mother was very upset with her son, that he wasn't doing what he was supposed to.  I felt bad for her and her son.  I know he just wanted to play with Little Man and the other "choo choo boys" but she probably felt that she didn't want to waste the good money she paid for these classes.  I hope she noticed that none of the kids at this point were paying attention to the coaches and that her kids was having fun.  Which should be all that matters at this age.

When we left, the soccer field was a mess of jerseys, balls, cones, buckets, streamers, balloons.  And three bewildered young coaches.  I sure hope the coaches show up next week! Although we probably wouldn't notice if they didn't!

One day...

With children, life is in a constant state of evolution.  You begin from the moment you find out there will be a baby to plan how life will be like.  You talk about parenting styles, names, discipline, work schedules, childcare, sleep and nap schedules.  You read books, pick out furniture, paint rooms, redo the rooms.  You buy clothes, toys, diapers.  By the time you hold that little baby in your arms you have it all planned out, right?  WRONG!  That baby is going to take everything you think you know and throw it all out the window.  That tiny little bundle of joy is going to turn your world upside down!

First off, they didn't read the books you did, so those books are mostly useless.  They don't care what they wear, for the first 3 months or so clothes are only a nuisance to be pooped on or spit up on.  They won't play with toys, and the ones you think are fun will scare the crap out of them at first.  Take for example the Tickle Me Elmo doll.  My son loves Halloween costumes but that doll still scares the hell out of him.  He thinks Elmo is getting sick when he falls over and shakes with laughter.  

That bundle of joy will want to eat all the time, so trying to schedule that will go out the window.  If you planned to work from home, alone with the baby, you can forget it.  So you adapt.  You hire someone to help you out while you get some work done.  Then you find yourself spending the time the nanny is there to take a shower, vacuum your floor, maybe even take a nap. (Since even though you bought a nice, expensive crib it holds toys and laundry, while the baby sleeps with you.)

You finally get it figured out.  You've watched that nanny in action and you can do this, right?  You have the week planned out.  Activities planned, snacks and lunches, naptime to get things done, etc.  Toddler wakes up, doesn't want to get dressed, could care less about your "activities", and won't eat anything you serve.  Except the cookies.  Sigh.

You find that as a parent you need to evolve, adapt.  Marvel at the little one you created and how smart they are.  Then you try to figure out how to outsmart them.  How to trick them into eating the healthy stuff.  You figure out ways to make them think that going to bed on time was their idea, not yours.  You learn to get them excited about getting dressed in the morning, but of course, if they are girls this one does come back to bite you.

One day, I'll have it all figured out...but probably not anytime soon.