Normal or Nazi?

I wanted to talk for a moment about breastfeeding.  I am very pro-breastfeeding and I am all for the rights of  breastfeeding women and the normalization of breastfeeding.  Do I think its okay for a woman to breastfeed in public?  Yes.  Do I think that photos of breastfeeding mothers/children help to promote breastfeeding and make it more acceptable in today's society?  Of course I do.  Do I think EVERY breastfeeding photo needs to be displayed publicly?  Not really.

I am part of several groups that promote breastfeeding and the normalization of breastfeeding.  While I agree with them on most counts, I disagree with their fights to have any and all breastfeeding photos posted on social media sites such as facebook.  I am aware that facebook has a policy that allows for photos of breastfeeding to be posted, as long as excessive nipple isn't showing.  They claim to take the stand that breastfeeding is normal and natural, but that excessive breast is lewd.  I have to agree, for more reasons than one.

First of all, if the photo is on your page, and only your friends can see it, then you are at least being somewhat modest.  I know that nothing posted online is completely private, but unless someone goes looking for it they shouldn't easily come across it.  Again, the photos I am referring to are the ones where a baby may be latched onto one breast, but the other is showing as well.  Let's face it, breastfeeding is natural, breasts are natural and are made for feeding babies.  But a penis is also natural, and is made for urination and making babies, but my teenage daughter doesn't need to come across one randomly in a social media site such as facebook.

Also, if the point of many of these lactivist sites is to normalize breastfeeding, then how is showing a bare breast supposed to do that?  If we want people to accept breastfeeding in public, showing off breast is probably not the best way.  This is exactly what people are afraid of, that we will be exposing ourselves in front of their families.  In truth, most people breastfeeding in public are very discreet.  So how is showing excessive breast helping to normalize breastfeeding?  There is also a picture that pops up quite often among these social media groups that shows a naked woman doing a yoga handstand and breastfeeding a baby.  While I am aware that one aspect of the image is about the strength an beauty of a breastfeeding woman, it is in no way a normal way to breastfeed.  So again, how are photos like this, posted on open groups, helping to promote breastfeeding?

I think the best way to promote breastfeeding and make it more normal and socially acceptable in our society is to lead by example.  Those who can breastfeed, should.  We should offer assistance to those who want to but need help.  We should provide photos as educational materials to help those who are struggling to get breastfeeding established.  Lastly, we should congratulate and support those we see breastfeeding in public and in private.

Let them have fun!

My son started soccer recently.  It was everything I expected, because I knew what to expect.  Two- and three-year-olds don't have a very long attention span, nor do they follow detailed directions well.  I expected that they would kick soccer balls, aim at targets, and run around like miniature whirlwinds for 45 minutes.  For the most part I was right.

For the first 10 minutes Little Man decided to show off his soccer skills and dribble the soccer ball from one end of the indoor field to the other, scoring goals.  Then class started.  They asked the kids to bring a ball and sit in the center in a circle.  So far, so good.  They explained the first game...half the kids began to move around but the parents got the gist of the instructions.  Take ball to coach, tell them your name (the kid's), they throw the ball and the kids fetch.  Repeat with another coach.  We did this with each coach twice.

After a water break, they split the kids up by ages.  We went with the 2's and listened somewhat patiently as they explained we were going to pretend we were animals and kick the ball.  "Act like an elephant, move slowly, kick the ball slowly."  At this point my son was getting a bit confused because he wasn't sure if they were playing animals or soccer.  Her took off to the field to dribble again.  About 4 animals in "pretend you're a T-rex" the coach realized that he was walking around hunched over like a T-rex, with all the parents watching and no kids in sight...

Then they switched games.  Destroying cone towers was a win!  What 2 or 3-year-old doesn't like to kick a ball and knock over a tower?  The it was time for the "party clean up game".  Was this a ploy to get all the balls and cones picked up?  If so, I give them an "E" for effort.  Unfortunately, the kids then found the buckets and got those out.  They also found, I believe a box of jerseys, and other assorted plastic cones and such.  At this point my son was leading a small pack of boys around the outside line in a choo-choo game.  I just let him, taking in the fact that even though he wasn't really learning anything, he was having a blast.

Another mother was very upset with her son, that he wasn't doing what he was supposed to.  I felt bad for her and her son.  I know he just wanted to play with Little Man and the other "choo choo boys" but she probably felt that she didn't want to waste the good money she paid for these classes.  I hope she noticed that none of the kids at this point were paying attention to the coaches and that her kids was having fun.  Which should be all that matters at this age.

When we left, the soccer field was a mess of jerseys, balls, cones, buckets, streamers, balloons.  And three bewildered young coaches.  I sure hope the coaches show up next week! Although we probably wouldn't notice if they didn't!

One day...

With children, life is in a constant state of evolution.  You begin from the moment you find out there will be a baby to plan how life will be like.  You talk about parenting styles, names, discipline, work schedules, childcare, sleep and nap schedules.  You read books, pick out furniture, paint rooms, redo the rooms.  You buy clothes, toys, diapers.  By the time you hold that little baby in your arms you have it all planned out, right?  WRONG!  That baby is going to take everything you think you know and throw it all out the window.  That tiny little bundle of joy is going to turn your world upside down!

First off, they didn't read the books you did, so those books are mostly useless.  They don't care what they wear, for the first 3 months or so clothes are only a nuisance to be pooped on or spit up on.  They won't play with toys, and the ones you think are fun will scare the crap out of them at first.  Take for example the Tickle Me Elmo doll.  My son loves Halloween costumes but that doll still scares the hell out of him.  He thinks Elmo is getting sick when he falls over and shakes with laughter.  

That bundle of joy will want to eat all the time, so trying to schedule that will go out the window.  If you planned to work from home, alone with the baby, you can forget it.  So you adapt.  You hire someone to help you out while you get some work done.  Then you find yourself spending the time the nanny is there to take a shower, vacuum your floor, maybe even take a nap. (Since even though you bought a nice, expensive crib it holds toys and laundry, while the baby sleeps with you.)

You finally get it figured out.  You've watched that nanny in action and you can do this, right?  You have the week planned out.  Activities planned, snacks and lunches, naptime to get things done, etc.  Toddler wakes up, doesn't want to get dressed, could care less about your "activities", and won't eat anything you serve.  Except the cookies.  Sigh.

You find that as a parent you need to evolve, adapt.  Marvel at the little one you created and how smart they are.  Then you try to figure out how to outsmart them.  How to trick them into eating the healthy stuff.  You figure out ways to make them think that going to bed on time was their idea, not yours.  You learn to get them excited about getting dressed in the morning, but of course, if they are girls this one does come back to bite you.

One day, I'll have it all figured out...but probably not anytime soon.

His New Diapers

Okay, so I had an offer to try a new brand of cloth diaper as a reviewer for Bottoms Up (www.clothbottomsup.com) and I figured I would put the review on here as well.

I was asked to try out a style or two from the Kawaii brand.  I chose a Goodnight Heavy Wetter in Blue Dotty and a Snazzy Minky in Zebra Stripe.  When the diapers arrived Little Man and I checked them out.  They seemed to be well-built with a wonderful panel inside across the tummy so pee wouldn't wick out overnight.  This is the biggest problem we have has with cloth diapering thus far.  I couldn't wait to put one on him and see how it worked!  Problem is, you have to wash them at least once before you use them.  Bummer.

I tossed all the diapers into the wash right away - it was diaper washing day anyway - and they were ready to wear by the next afternoon.  I showed him the Minky and put it on him.  For those of you that might not know, minky is so soft, like satiny velour.  He really likes this diaper!  I liked it as well.  The fit was trim, the absorbency was nice, although we only used 1 insert that came with it and added a Thirsties hemp.  No leaks, minimal bulk.



That night I tried the Goodnight Heavy Wetter with one of the inserts provided and a Thirsties hemp.  I loved it and so did he.  It kept him dry all night, with minimal bulk.

I am addicted to these now!  I have not found anything negative yet to say about them and we have been using them for about 2 weeks.  I am still not sure why they call that one a Goodnight Heavy Wetter since it does not appear to be made any differently than the Snazzy Minky.  These are both One Size pocket diapers, which make it very easy to get sitters, grandparents, and 13-year-old girls to change them.

I am planning on trying a Bamboo Minky Once Size and grabbing a few more of the Snazzy Minky while I am at it.  I have never used bamboo inserts before, but did purchase one recently.  That one is being tested as I type.

Bottom line, I am really pleased with the Kawaii diapers based on price and fit.  Also, Little Man prefers these over disposables.  "No Mommy, no paper on my bottom today!"

Why "Almost Natural"?

Hi!  I am 35 years old, the mother of two, with a wonderful life partner.  My "bonus" daughter (partner's) is 13 years old and our son is two and a half.  Our daughter is a track star, okay an up and coming track star, be on the lookout for her.  Our son is an up and coming BMX freestyle pro.  We are not your average parents, starting with the fact that we are lesbians.  We also have 2 dogs and a fish, so on the outside we may seem normal...

I decided on "Almost Natural" for my blog title because we are a little "half-baked".  Well, maybe not so much anymore, but to some people we are nuts.  We cloth diaper (and sell them), I breastfed our son until just recently, and he STILL sits rear-facing in his carseat.  For some reason, this is the one that gets brought up to me the most often.  "Why is he still rear-facing?"  "Are you just too lazy to turn it around?"  "Doesn't he hate it?"  What, turning him forward-facing is really gonna make much difference in his riding pleasure?  (Because we ALL love being strapped in so tight we barely move, similar to a race car driver...)  There are plenty of reasons why he is still rear-facing, but that is another blog.

We also try to parent our children based, loosely, on the Attachment Parenting style.  I am very attached to my son, him attached to me, not so much...  But seriously, we don't hit, TRY not to yell, try to use every interaction as a learning experience, but we can only do so much.  I like my sleep, we all do.

We eat some organic, buy some local, grow some of our own, compost some of our trash, recycle most of the rest...but we are by no means hippies.  We eat Oreos and store bought ice cream.  We eat meat.  (well, my son doesn't, but my dogs do...yes, they eat a partial raw diet)  We don't drive hybrid vehicles and we do use the air conditioning at home.

We have lots of adventures to write about, lots of tales to tell.  And with a two-year-old boy, there will be a LOT of funny stories.  I hope you enjoy the ride as much as we do!